The Bluffer's Guide to Doctoring
By Patrick Keating
 
Extracts from the book

 
ER
The doctor in casualty is expected to examine, diagnose and treat more patients per hour than the average person serving in McDonald's. At the end of eight hours of this you feel like walking into moving traffic. The only thing that stops you is the depressing thought that the ambulance would bring you straight back again.
 
Rubber gloves
Just the sound of the doctor snapping gloves on is enough to strike fear into the bowels of any patient. If they are giving you a hard time, put them on and you will get their undivided attention.
 
Scalpel please
As a junior you will be required to assist the surgeon in such exciting tasks as cutting sutures to the required length and holding bits of surgical ironmongery for hours, well away from the interesting bits. When your mind is sufficiently far removed, the surgeon will usually ask you to identify a portion of anatomy that looks as if a hyena has been at it.
 
Prognostication
In radiology, promotion, if not stardom, will be assured if you can come up with any diagnosis from a picture that looks to the uninitiated like an airborne photo of the East London docks taken at night.
 
Reviews

 
The Bluffer's Guides mix good sense with sardonic comment in a very readable fashion.
Sunday Mercury
 
So true I almost split my side (haemmorrhaged) with laughter at the scalpel like humor (surgical precision) of this Bluffer's Guide. Keep them coming!
A reader from Baltimore, USA
 
Table of Contents
 

Introduction

Famous Forebears

Qualifying and Beyond
The Road Ahead
Specialising in Something

Choosing a Speciality
General Medicine
General Surgery
Orthopaedic Surgery
Cardiac/Brain Surgery
Cosmetic Surgery
Radiology
Neurology
Obstetrics and Gynaecology
Anaesthetics
Paediatrics
Venereology
Pathology
Psychiatry

Medical Hierarchy
Professor
Consultant
Specialist Registrar
Senior House Officer II
Senior House Officer I
House Officer
Medical Students
General Practice
Research
Private Practice
Job Hunting

Who's Who in Hospitals
Car Park Attendant
Catering Manager
Porters
Switchboard
Hospital Radio
Ward Sister
Hospital Hairdressers
Hospital Managers

Duties
The Wards
Outpatients
Casualty
Maternity
Intensive (Expensive) Care Unit
Operating Theatre
Post Mortem Room

Skills to Master
Patient Spotting
Impromptu Doctoring
Cardiac Arrest
Bedside Manners
Tools of the Trade

Flies in the Ointment

Alternative Medicine
The Media Doctor

Glossary

 
Author: Patrick Keating
Format: 64 pages, pb
Published: 28/10/05
Updated: NEW EDITION
Price: £3.99

ISBN-10 & ISBN-13:
1-903096-45-6
978-1-903096-45-1

  
About the author
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Table of contents
  
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