The Bluffer's Guide to Football
By Mark Mason
 
Extracts from the book

 
Play on
An experiment was once undertaken at a football match to discover just how much time had been frittered away. It was found that the ball had been in play for 43 of the 90 minutes. How those conducting the experiment had managed to pick a match with quite so much genuine action in it remains a mystery.
 
Game preparation
If you arrive at your seat slightly earlier you will witness two sights for which it is important to be prepared. The first is the players of your team warming up. This will involve them passing the ball to each other, shooting the ball into the net from 30 yards out, and running together in a co-ordinated and organised manner. None of these things will happen during the match.
 
Routine miss

Set pieces are pre-prepared routines that sides employ when they have control of the game at a free kick. They will have been practised on the training ground to the point where every single player knows his role in the plan off by heart. They will then be re-enacted in the match after a substitute has come on who missed training that morning, and who will accidentally block his team-mate's final shot at goal.

 
Fickle fans
You must accept that football supporters are fickle creatures. If a player who has been having an awful game and attracting the condemnation of his fans suddenly scores the winning goal, he will instantly become the best player in the world and his name will be chanted in glowing terms for the rest of the match.
 
Reviews

 
Very funny and informative -- the perfect book for anyone needing to learn about football. I've recommended it to Gary Lineker.
Nick Hancock, Presenter, They Think It's All Over
 
 
Ideal reading if you want to spout off without actually knowing about the game.
Oldham Evening Chronicle
 
The Bluffer's Guides are a quick read and chock full of the basic information on any subject that's needed to pass yourself off as knowledgeable.
The Toronto Globe & Mail
 
If you have ever embarrassed yourself trying to explain the offside rule to your girlfriend then you need this book. In language even a linesman could understand it wittily and concisely explains how to explain the offside rule!
A reader from Leeds, England
 
Table of Contents
 

Introduction

History of the Game

Rules of the Game
Stoppages in Play
Fouls
Bookings
The Offside Rule
Length of a Match

Playing the Game

Positions
Goalkeeper
Centre backs
Full-backs
Wing backs
Midfielders
Centre forwards
Other Alternatives

Competitions
Domestic
European Club
International

Football Worldwide
Brazil
France
Germany
Italy
Holland
Spain
America
Romania
Republic of Ireland
Scotland
England

English Teams
Manchester United
Arsenal
Liverpool
Everton
Chelsea
Tottenham Hotspur
Leeds United
Newcastle United
Manchester City

Footballers: Then and Now

Great Players
Great Domestic Players

Choosing a Team

Attending a Match
What to Wear
Before a Match
During the Match
How to Behave
Chanting
Skills to Watch for
Set Pieces

Watching a Match in a Pub
Action Replays
Television Pundits
Player Interviews

Glossary

 
Author: Mark Mason
Format: 64 pages, pb
Published: 30/10/06
NEW EDITION
Price: £4.99
ISBN-10 & ISBN-13:
1-903096-96-0
978-1-903096-96-3
  
About the author
Read the extracts
Read the reviews
Table of contents
  
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Also by this author - The Little Book of Beckham. Published by The Can of Worms Press

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