| |
| The
Bluffer's Guide to the Simpsons | | By
Paul Couch | | | | Extracts
from the book | |
| | | Homer's
Odyssey | | Homer's
marriage to Marge has been occasionally rocky but always sturdy. You can't really
imagine Fred and Wilma making the same kind of amorous noises in the boudoir (and
several other locations over the years) but the Springfield Posh & Becks seem
to have no qualms about getting jiggy with it after lights out and, occasionally,
with the lights on. | | |
| Hair
Raising | | Nobody's
ever satisfactorily explained away Marge's trademark beehive, the height of which
is as impressive as its deep blue hue. So, let's do some reckoning: If Marge is
the average height for a woman - say 165cm - then her barnet has to be in excess
of 140cm. Add those together and Mighty Marge Simpson stands over 10 feet tall
in old money. It's known that Marge keeps a couple of dozen cans of hairspray
in her dressing table drawer so the hole in the ozone layer over Springfield must
be the size of Canada by now, which probably explains the peculiar yellow skin
of the local populace. It's lesser known that Marge has been 'grey as a mule since
she was seventeen'. She uses Blue Dye no. 52. |
| | | Um
diddle diddle | | After
Marge suffers from stress, The Simpsons get a nanny in the form of Shelley Bobbins
Ð no, absolutely no similarity between her and a certain Disney Corporation character
should be made or implied Ð who flies in and turns 742 Evergreen Terrace upside
down with a wealth of twee magic and song. Who can help but be"engrossed
by the deliciously irreverent "It's The American Way", which in no way resembles
'A Spoonful of Sugar' either, by the way. | | |
| Bart
and Moe crank it up... | |
One of the many highlights
from all the Simpsons seasons to date are (usually) Bart's crank phone calls to
manic depressive bartender Moe Szyslak. It is claimed that this running gag originated
in the Tube Bar, Jersey City, in the 1970s but it's obvious even to the most intellectually
challenged of Shelbyville that these gems go further back than that and are based
in classic "knock-knock" jokes - "knock-knock/who's there/Isobel/Isobel
who?/Isabel necessary on a bicycle?" | | |
| Simpsons
Bluffer Rule #2 | | The
competent Bluffer should always refer to the performers who play The Simpsons
as 'the voice talent' never 'actors'. For extra effect, drop their first names
and simply use 'Castellaneta', 'Kavnar', and so forth. This implies some tacit
familiarity and your Bluffee will simply melt before your eyes like the witch
in the Wizard of Oz. | | |
| Reviews |
|
| | | Want
to hold the company entralled by your erudition? The Bluffer's Guides are all
you need. |
| Springfield
Gazette | | |
| All
you need to get on in the world is bluff. | |
Western
Morning News | | |
| Table
of Contents | |
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Fortune
Telling
