| |
| The
Bluffer's Guide to Surfing |
| By
Craig Jarvis |
|
| Extracts
from the book |
|
| |
| Wetcam |
| Some
cell phones are linked to cameras on beaches so that you can look
at the waves to see if it’s worth a surf without actually going
there. An accessory like this is a must-have item for the bluffer
who wants to look dialled in to changing surf conditions and appear
authentic in front of real surfers. |
|
| A
swell story |
|
When a massive wave trundles through a line-up and cleans everyone
up, and breathless people all ask of each other how big the wave
was in order to have an impressive story, the surfer who drawls,
‘I’ve seen bigger waves in my bathtub,’ is the hero
of the moment, rather more so, if he was in the water when the wave
arrived. |
|
| Reefer
madness |
| Breaks
with dangerous bottoms are intimidating. It is not easy to paddle
your heart out for an eight-foot wave and look down the wave at
a reef that is barely covered in water knowing that one mistake
is going to take you to Pain City, population one. Some of the best
waves in the world are reef breaks. Waves like Pipeline in Hawaii,
Garajagan in Indonesia, Teahupoo in Tahiti and Aileen’s and
Mullaghmore Head in Ireland. |
|
| Taking
the *iss |
| An
easy way of warming up the water inside your wetsuit is by urinating
in it immediately on touching the shoreline. Every surfer does this,
girl or boy, but it is the one secret that cannot be spoken about.
If the world were to know that surfers actually surf immersed in
their own urine, our cover would be blown, our coolness quotient
would go into freefall, our healthy veneer would be in tatters and
we would be considered weird sixties-style, dope smoking, free loving,
tree-hugging vegan urine-embracing naturists. |
| |
| Brush
with fame |
| Surfers
with wonderful smiles can look to toothpaste sponsorship. |
| |
| |
| Reviews |
|
| |
| A
quick read and chock full of the basic information that's needed
to pass yourself off as knowledgeable. |
|
Toronto
Globe & Mail
|
| |
| An
amazing amount of solid fact disguised as frivolous observation. |
|
The
Sunday Telegraph
|
| |
| Table
of Contents |
|
| |
|
Introduction
The basics
A bit of history
Things to take on board
Boards
Shapers
Glassers, sanders and sprayers
Board refinements
Wetsuits
Leashes
Accessories
Learn to forecast
Waves
Wave height
Types of waves
Surfers
Types of surfer
Girls who surf
Pro surfer groupies
Surf widows
Competitions
The ASP
Coach/managers
Judges
The Pro Tour
The World Tour
The World Qualifying Series
World champions
Amateur surfing
The rest of the crew
Caddies
Commentators
Surf photographers
Surf journalists
Sponsors
Surfing traditions
Remembrance paddle out
First times
Surf travel
Board packing
Airplane scams
The road trip
Localism
The funny side of surfing
Names to know
Glossary
|
|
|
| |
Fortune
Telling
